My blog is dead. I apologise, to my very few but faithful readers nonetheless - I have not had either the energy or motivation to keep this thing updated.
However, this blog of mine was made to be a medium of expression - so off I go with my rant.
I have battled one of the most hectic weeks of my life.
I shall not go in to detail with the tests I have been put through when push drastically came to shove. I will however, express the things I have learnt. There have been so many eye-opening moments that I would like to remember and look back on - if ever I come across something like this again.
I know the way in which I am writing this might come across as overtly dramatic or whatever - well fuck you. Just because I have a hard exterior and on the outside everything is rainbows and butterflies, deep down I do have a heart that is more vulnerable than I would like to admit.
My grandfather, 87 years of age, passed away on the 3rd of February 2010. And admits the vivid details of the emotional chaos, this is what I have learnt.
Let me just start off by mentioning that it is hard to describe a man like a grandfather and the impact he has made on not just hundreds - but thousands of people. It's hard to fathom why that is so - knowing that he is the most simple man I have ever come across. He was a man of routine. A man of traditions. And he was kind - to the core. A kindness I have never come across. Kid you not, he was always looking out for others before himself. He was able to get along with every generation in the family - from being the favourite amongst his siblings, to being the best dad, to being the best grandfather. And I express this with no exaggeration.
He was a man with one of the best sense of humors. At the age of 87, he was still cracking jokes being as jovial as he has always been.
And simple? Let's just put it this way - I think he's the only one (on this planet) who still uses a film camera! Why? Not because he was incapable of learning - he just refused to. He liked his film camera, and he stuck to it. That kind of devotion was not only found in the items he was used to, but the living things that surrounded him. Like for instance, his last meal was Tou Foo Fa (Sp?). One of his favourite things to eat.
And don't get me started on the things he has achieved in his lifetime. From being the first ever Malaysian to get a scholarship to study abroad (Adelaide), where he had to depart from his family by ship to further his education to be the best urologist he could be. In fact, till this age, he still worked. He still had patients. The list of achievements go on, and yet - he remained humble as ever.
Compassionate. He would avoid killing an ant if it meant walking a harder footpath. And wise. To be frank, every personal matter that he has advised me on, I had faith in. And I cannot say this about many people. In fact, he was the only person I would listen to especially growing up as a teenager. Because that is how much I have always respected him, and his opinions that come with.
The love of his life, his soulmate - my grandmother - how can I describe a love like that? Impossible. They had been married for 56 years. I can see why a man like him would love a woman like my grandmother.
This journey for her especially has been the hardest and yet she has been able to hold herself and keep her head high through all of this. She is definitely the tower of strength, one of the most influential women in my life. Today, when my sisters and cousin and I spent time with her, we managed to learn more about my grandfather and the history they had together.
Hearing this, being overseas was not easy. I will admit that. But this tragedy has only brought my family closer together. the 4 people in my generation flew from different areas of Australia and centralised in Sydney, and we all together flew down to Malaysia.
Friday afternoon was spent in P.D, one of my grandfathers favourite places to visit, where we threw his ashes in to the sea.
Friday night, my whole family - all 15 of us decided to have a nice dinner, where we exchanged stories, exchanged memories, updated each other - and we laughed. Laughed so much.
It was such an eye opener - we are so so blessed we were brought up in a family as close as mine. :)
While this has been hard on all of us, it took some time for us to realise that in his 87 years of living, he had only suffered for 17 days. And that is more than we could hope for, for someone we love.
In memory of my grandfather, the tradition of Sunday Lunches (a weekly event where the family sets aside time to meet up) will be carried on for the generations to come in no.8.
My family @ Sunday lunch.
In loving memory of Dato' Sreenevasan.
21st November 1922 - 3rd February 2010.
